Souped-up cars loud, obnoxious

BY JUSTIN STARNES JUNIOR

I don't know how many times I have cruised down the road with my windows down enjoying a sunny Florida day when I hear an incredibly loud roaring sound coming from behind me. I check my mirrors, but I don't see a Dodge Viper or any other sort of muscle car. I look up into the sky, but I don't see Air Force One soaring high above.

Instead, I'm disappointed when I see a driver in an old, rusty Honda Civic, with a muffler as big around as a solid- rocket booster slowly passing me as if he thinks he rules the road. I take another brief look at the rolling piece of junk and simply can't conceive why anyone would put such a horribly loud muffler on such a horrible looking car.

Are they trying to attract attention to their completely and utterly ugly car? Most of the time, these mufflers don't even sound the least bit impressive.

It's annoying while lying in bed late at night to hear one of these awful automobiles farting down the road loudly, reaching speeds no greater than 20 miles per hour. Is it necessary for these cars to sound like they're going fast when they aren't even able to make it over a speed bump? I've also noticed cars like these typically have a ridiculously large spoiler protruding from their back ends. I've seen cars with spoilers so big it looks as if they got them from some sort of fighter jet or spaceship.

Unless they plan on breaking the sound barrier, I would think such a large spoiler is completely superfluous. I would make the bet that these cars probably have little to no potential of ever getting a speeding ticket. These are the same people that put enormous subwoofers and speakers in their car and blast their music so loud that it shakes all of the cars in the whole state.

Once again, it seems to me that these drivers are just trying to attract attention to their very unattractive car. Don't get me wrong; many cars look great when they're souped up. I just don't understand why somebody would pay hundreds, or even thousands of dollars for such useless additions to their already grungy piece of machinery. Why not go out and use that money to find a newer and nicer car that actually runs nicely and doesn't need such ludicrous additions? I wonder if the people who drive such dreadful cars actually think they impress others with their loud, dented clump of metal.