Aural Traffic Camera
Reduces noise from overloud car stereos
I suggest we extend the functionality of "speed cameras" at traffic lights. The revised design would have a sound sensor, a small water cannon and mobility. Essentially, it would operate by listening to the noise after the lights had changed to red (this also doubles the functionality over time of the existing cameras). The moment the "camera" heard an excessive bass note emanating from a car's sound system, it would locate the source, and fire the water cannon at the driver's window location. (You should remember that those social illiterates who behave in a way that will get them wet generally have all their windows open - if not driving a convertible - so that they can share their taste for thumping dance music with the wide worl
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
nicholascullum, Sep 03 2000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
StarChaser, Sep 03 2000
Yah. A good dose of high density Electro Magnetic Radiation in a tight beam to blow the **** out of the audio system.
Question. Would this have any effect on the occupant? If so, who cares?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alcin, Sep 04 2000
Not me...Once peeved one of these idiots off...Had been working on my car, broke a stud on the muffler and had to hacksaw the rest of it off...Stopped at a light, it was fairly quiet in idle, and some doof in a boom car pulled up next to me, rolled down his windows and turned his radio up. I revved my engine a bit, and my 73 Beetle totally drowned out his multi-thousand dollar radio. He tried harder, I still beat him, he cussed at me <I think..couldn't hear him> and he rolled up the windows... <Note added later, I was driving the car without a muffler on the way to the muffler shop.>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
StarChaser, Sep 04 2000, last modified Sep 16 2000
"Intrusive government" variation: demand that each boom-box-on-wheels be fitted with a volume throttle that lowers the base volume in proportion with speed and open-window status. Bad for listening to the car stereo on warm summer nights at make-out bluff, but everything else seems to work just right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jutta, Sep 05 2000
At the selected frequencies, that would be more of a loss of shaking than a loss of hearing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jutta, Sep 05 2000
I remember an article in the paper recently about some cretin having spent nearly 5 times the value of the car on an audio system. The interesting point was that the installer got a nose bleed when the volume got too loud, and his colleague felt sick after a few seconds. Doesn't this tell us that this level of sound may be having detrimental effects on the health and therefore ability of the drivers? (notice I don't question their intelligence, I am assuming you can't deduct something from nothing.) I'm not too keen on having a punch drunk driver heading towards me in a ton or so of metal.
One of our sporting "legends" has a pretty expensive audio system in his 4x4, and the joke doing the rounds a while ago was that someone had broken into his stereo and stolen his car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alcin, Sep 07 2000
Someone I once did work experience under was proud of the fact that due to a slight miscalculation during construction, his car sound system was capable of killing a human if turned up full-ball (a human inside the car, that is). Oh yes, he was the one we had to talk to LOUDLY and SLOWLY (well, loudly because of the car stereo, slowly because he was the head of the IT department).
Those cameras should have highly directional soundwaves, of frequency+amplitude such to spontaneously and unintrusively lobotimize the offender. Okay, in traffic, this is a little impractical... but would anyone notice?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Detly, Sep 12 2000
This goes to Jutta's Sept. 5th comment: Most new GM vehicles come with a stereo with just such a feature. When you go faster it gets louder, and vice versa. It can be adjusted to how much it does it, too.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AfroAssault, Sep 14 2000
Maybe a device that could cause the sound system to go into Full Volume Full Feedback would put paid to the occupants. Road maintenance might be needed to scrape up the residue though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alcin, Sep 14 2000
Starchaser is right, The Boom Box should do just that, go 'Boom'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
thumbwax, Sep 15 2000
Regarding the electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) weapon for "blowing the **** out of the audio system," I actually spent some time researching this very thing--for the same reason: offensive car stereos in my neighborhood. Alas, as far as I can discern, the energy required to achieve this is on the order of a small nuclear weapon--not very practical.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bristolz, Oct 01 2000
Hey AfroAssault, are you getting soft in your old age? First time I haven't seen you make something explode.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
thumbwax, Oct 02 2000
Bristolz; From a distance, yes. The cops are experimenting with little rocket powered carts that zoom up under the and zap it with what is essentially a huge static charge. The carts look like a flat board with three thin metal fins on top, and when they touch the metal underside of the car, zzt!
Would be more difficult, but you could build a remote control car with some huge capacitors on it to do this...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
StarChaser, Oct 02 2000
After complaining several times to our local police chief about loud car stereos he informed me that they were hot on the job and had written 400 citations last year for such violations. Unfortunately, if that's true, it's had no effect whatsoever on the number of folks driving around with their windows rolled down and their stereos cranking out billions of watts of bass. I suspect that the cops regard this sort of violation only as a handy pretext for hauling someone over and doing a drug search. In years to come we'll see the loud car stereo thing become an issue much like tobacco smoking is today. All the folks with the loud stereos will be deaf as a post and the government will be suing the manufacturers of this equipment for all the health costs involved in buying these audio idiots hearing aids. And there will probably also be government studies to determine the effects of "second-hand" car stereo sounds. Stereo manufacturers, line up your attorneys!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
coaster, Feb 12 2001
One idea posed in non-lethal military R&D was to have a number of high-frequency, but relatively low-amplitude sound beams focused on one's attackers (the most common scenario was a riot)...some of the beams would be at a slightly higher frequency than the others, and the net result was a very low-frequency, high amplitude vibration at the point the beams crossed. This would make the target feel very ill and likely induce vomiting. Admittedly not as impressive as and EMP "laser," but more practical. Also, mayhaps you could set the frequency difference to the "brown noise" covered in South Park.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
nick_n_uit, Feb 12 2001
Why is it that these guys are always in crappy little cars with wings and stickers all over them?
Rather than water or EMP or sound cannon why not just spray them and their s***heap cars with Lime Green paint?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UnaBubba, Feb 12 2001
If the driver is listening to the radio, the energy required to take over the stereo system would be fairly slight (though the FCC might object). If the driver is listening to a tape, it would require somewhat more energy and getting decent audio quality would be difficult. For CD's I'm not sure how you'd go about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
supercat, Feb 13 2001
Surely an EMP weapon is not the answer. If it were powerful enough to work it would surely destroy the car's engine management system. Although the noise would stop, you have a heap of metal blocking the road and some pretty pissed off ne'er-do-wells stuck in your neighbourhood.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gordon Comstock, Feb 13 2001
how about huge spring loaded spikes in the road with several directionally sensitive microphones for tracking the noise source...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chud, Feb 14 2001
Oh wow ! Hyundai kebabs !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2001
How about a variant of the volume/velocity thing where as the volume of the stereo get louder, the constitution of the vehicle degrades. I'm not sure exactly how this would work, but I know there are already chemicals which can become more or less cohesive with certain stimuli. If the stereo gets too loud, the bass simply shakes the car apart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
nick_n_uit, May 20 2001
Hmm... This has become a very serious problem in my neighborhood. I am thinking of two possiblilties. One uses a 5" pipe with a bass kicker installed in it with buffer. This would give a directional bass kick that could probably do some decent damage at upwards of 25 yards I would think ( just starting on that project ). The other is a rod in the road that faces the direction they come from. When they pass by ( and the arrogant putzs do it right in front of you to piss you off ) twist a lever ( maybe pull a piece of twine ) that causes the crossbar connected to the rod to turn causing the rod to raise. If the rod was stable enough and the timing was good the rod should go right through there bass cabinet. Problems are that a gas tank could get in the way ( now that would be a boom ) or getting stuck with cost of replacing the damn thing... Ahh, the things my mind thinks of when annoyed. LOL...
frad
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
frad, Jul 17 2002
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Aural_20Traffic_20Camera?op=aye